Nobody Talks About How Lonely Executive Unemployment Can Be
Nobody really prepares you for the loneliness.
People prepare you for the financial implications of unemployment. They tell you to update your CV. They tell you to contact recruiters. They tell you to network. They tell you to apply for more jobs.
But very few people talk about what happens when the structure of your professional life suddenly disappears. Particularly when you've been a senior HR leader.
Your calendar suddenly becomes empty
For years, your working life may have been relentless. 5am calls. Executive meetings. Board papers. Employee issues. Travel. Strategy sessions. Leadership meetings. Difficult conversations. Decisions. Deadlines. People needing you.
Then, suddenly, none of it is there. You wake up on Monday morning and don't have anywhere you need to be. There is no leadership meeting. No team waiting for you. No CEO asking for your advice. No immediate problem to solve.
At first, it can feel like a holiday. After a while, it can feel very different.
You lose more than a salary
Employment provides much more than money. It provides structure. Identity. Purpose. Status. Social interaction. Routine. And, for many senior HR leaders, a sense of being useful. When all of that disappears simultaneously, it can be surprisingly disorienting.
This is particularly difficult for HR professionals because our careers are built around helping other people navigate change. We have spent years telling employees “your job doesn't define you.” And we know intellectually that it's true. But experiencing it personally is different.
Everyone thinks you'll be fine
There is another strange part of being a senior professional without a job. People assume you'll be fine. You've got experience. You've got contacts. You've been a Director and VP and then a CHRO so of course someone will hire you. And perhaps they will.
But that doesn't make the waiting easy. Senior positions are limited. Recruitment processes take time. Organizations change their minds. Roles are put on hold. Internal candidates emerge. And sometimes you can do everything right and still have nothing happen for months.
LinkedIn doesn't help
Every morning you open LinkedIn. Someone has been promoted. Someone has become a new CHRO. Someone has joined a new company. Someone has posted about their “exciting new chapter.” And you're sitting at home wondering when yours is going to start.
It is worth remembering that LinkedIn is a highlight reel. Rarely do we see posts from people like “six months unemployed today. Feeling increasingly uncertain.”
Comparing your reality with somebody else's good news work announcement is rarely helpful.
Don't disappear
The temptation when you're unemployed is to retreat.
You don't want people to know you're looking. You don't want every conversation to become a request for help. You don't want to attend an event and answer the question: “so, what are you doing these days?”
But disappearing creates its own problems.
Stay visible. Not because you need to advertise your unemployment. Because you are still a professional. Write something. Attend an event. Have lunch with someone. Mentor somebody. Offer your perspective. Make an introduction. Keep learning. Do things that remind you that you are still contributing.
Don't turn every conversation into a job request
This is important.
You can reconnect with someone without asking them for a job. Ask how they're doing. Ask what's happening in their organization. Talk about the market. Discuss an interesting leadership issue. Share an introduction. You may discover that the relationship becomes useful naturally.
And even if it doesn't produce a job, you have still had a meaningful professional conversation.
That's valuable.
Give yourself structure
When you're employed, other people structure your time. When you're unemployed, you have to do it yourself.
Create a routine. Get up at a sensible time. Exercise. Allocate time for job searching. Allocate time for networking. Allocate time for reading and learning. And then stop.
You do not need to spend fourteen hours a day looking for a job. In fact, spending fourteen hours staring at job boards may make you less effective, not more.
Do something useful
This is not about filling your CV. It's about maintaining your sense of purpose. Perhaps you mentor someone. Help a startup. Join a nonprofit board. Volunteer. Write. Speak at an event. Offer advice to a former colleague. Study something outside HR. The objective isn't to manufacture activity so you can tell an interviewer about it. The objective is to remind yourself that your professional value didn't disappear when your employment ended.
And talk about it
If you're struggling, don't pretend you're not.
Talk to someone you trust. A family member or friend. A former colleague. A coach. Another executive who has experienced unemployment. You don't need to turn every conversation into therapy. But you shouldn't carry the whole thing alone. There is no shame in finding unemployment difficult.
The most important distinction
You are unemployed. You are not unemployable. Those are very different things.
One describes your current employment status. The other is a judgement about your future.
Don't confuse them. Your career hasn't disappeared. Your experience hasn't disappeared. Your relationships haven't disappeared. Your ability hasn't disappeared. You are simply between chapters. And some chapters take longer to write than others.
One final thought
If you are currently unemployed, you may feel that everyone else is moving forward while you are standing still. You're not. You are in a transition. And transitions are uncomfortable precisely because the old identity has ended before the new one has fully formed. So don't judge yourself too harshly.
Stay connected. Stay curious. Stay visible.
And remember, you are still the HR leader you were before your employment ended.
The organization changed. Your circumstances changed. Your title changed. Your value did not.
About the Author
Leanne Morris is well known as a both an outspoken advocate and critic of the HR profession. With long standing networks across 94 countries in all specialist areas of the function, and a multi- continent work history, she is a sought after subject matter expert on international HR hiring trends and HR hiring best practice.