You haven’t heard from me for years, but now I need a favour
Some of the wisest people I know believe that enduring relationships require give and take to enable trust to be built and loyalty to be formed. They also believe that relationships aren’t built overnight or through a single process - they require ongoing interaction, mutual sharing, and where possible, selfless giving.
Marriages are one example of this, where reciprocal action to support each other through good and bad times is arguably critical to the success of the relationship. Helping each other, just because you care, rather than for what you can trade in return a much desired element too.
Commercial partnerships are another example. The transactional contract of exchanging goods or services in return for payment converts to a relationship of loyalty and allegiance when either party extends support that is outside of and beyond contractual terms. This support can be as easy and simple as flexibility on payment timing if a company is under duress, sharing useful (and legal) market information or providing bonus services and products; all simply for the sake of being helpful and investing in an enduring relationship, rather than expecting immediate financial reward.
HR professionals talk a lot about relationships. They typically describe their “superpower” as proactive and authentic relationship builders. They espouse the importance of building and maintaining strong relationships, as critical to get influence and cooperation with internal and external stakeholders, and vital to achieve personal career growth within their employer companies.
However, maintaining external partner relationships in reality, does appear to be very low on the priority list for HR leaders. Outside of key projects, they invest little time with HRIS and payroll suppliers, psychometric testing vendors, external recruitment service providers, and other such vendors. We’ve also noticed that HR leaders are sporadic in the time they dedicate to attending networking events to exchange information and support with like-minded peers. Too often, HR professionals lose contact with former staff members and business executives. Very simply, once the HR professional has no need for immediate support from people outside of their immediate employer network, they typically cease all contact, thus the relationship ends.
Unfortunately, some of those HR leaders later find themselves unexpectedly redundant, or at risk of job loss, or urgently seeking new work options for an array of other reasons. The first instinct for many is to lean on their immediate and historic networks for help. Daily, those job seekers will contact their network of people met through a call or meeting or work arrangement years ago, with fond recollections of how that network member impressed them years ago. Followed by requests for a donation of time, advice and job seeking support; from people who’ve been of no interest to that HR leader, until this time of need. It should be no surprise then that former network members receiving “out of the blue” contact will be sceptical. Trust and loyalty has either been eroded, or no longer applies. There is no relationship to leverage.
The situation is all the more difficult for these job seekers, when hiring criteria wish lists become rigid as a result of employer companies having the luxury of people choices, especially when positions are limited and talent pools are large. Take an instance when there are many more high-quality HR job seekers with equally impressive skills and experience, than there are roles to be hired for. When reputable recruiters are inundated with job seekers wanting support, I suspect recruiter attention will gravitate to HR professionals with whom they’ve had an authentic relationship over many years. HR partners with whom they’ve had regular exchanges over time, maybe who’ve been hiring clients to them in the past, provided referrals, who have responded to a request for advice or an exchange of market trend views or simply shared time for an annual “check in”.
There is another advantage for professionals who have maintained authentic relationships over time. Regardless of hiring criteria, the long standing relationship of trust between the recruiter and job seeker, and the recruiter and the hiring leader so often enables a “wild card” recommendation of “forget the resume, I’ve known this person for years, I know the culture of your company and I know the standards you’re expecting for this new hire, and I’m certain you’ll want them for this job”. In all professions and at all levels of seniority, skills and experience are frequently flexed and bypassed as a result of strong reputational relationships.
Certainly, if you are needing to enter the open job market, there are significant benefits in having the broadest possible networks to draw upon, especially outside of your current employer role. In the job seeking world it is so often true that “it’s not what you know, but who you know”. However, your network will only be of use when the relationship has been respected. Network contacts usually need to be assured of your stability to be consistent and true of intent before they go out of their way to donate time, advice, support and advocacy.
So if you find another professional you connect with, or a firm that aligns with your outlook, investing time and energy to maintain and nurture that relationship over the long term, can play a pivotal role in your future. Neglect it, and it may not be there when you need it most.
About the Author
Ian Mael is valued across his HR network for his diligent communications and authentic partnerships. As the leader for interim HR executive hires at Carter Morris, he brings over 15 years of recruitment experience for multi sector hires within demanding deadlines for the full range of specialist roles within the HR profession.